i sort of had a real big hook on computer games, so much so that i fail 1 moldule and scraping though the rest of my moldules. my mentor saw this problem of mine and recommend me that i should considered going for national service first as i don't have the mind to study. it really wouldn't help if i failed all my moldules and end up not getting a diploma and wasting three years doing practically, yes practically nothing. after my national service, so say my mentor, i should come back and continue my studies. he strongly believes that being in the service would wake me up properly, so that i would not make a fool of my studies and therefore study seriously.

the irony about this whole issue of course is that my obsession over computer games. adding to that irony is that i actually chose my current poly course myself. like it so much that i actually quarrel with my mum who tried to persuade me to chose other more 'useful' courses like business or biomedical.

so above was my self pity for my blunder.

covering right now is how i intend to do it, to make up for it, to remedy this very seriously fatal mistake.

somehow i talked to preacher wu and thank God she was a great help. was worried for me and am sorry to have found her a nuisance at times. she offered help and ways in many forms. Cds, christian's books, and numerous counseling.

it had however made me realised that i really need to change, to improve.

sometimes it seems easy and i find myself succeeding, however not always.

well one more thing my mentor told me. going off to national service is only an escape from the problem. why not stay and tackle the problem, change my habit, my obsession and score well for my next 2 and a 1/2 years.