guess wad? woke up at 9.30am.super,suppose to meet jeremy, xiucheng and his friends at bukit panjang at 9....am i super or wad?lost my tong shin lu, so can't contact them,told my sis that if they call, told them that i'll meet them at fullerton hotel.so i stoop a little low here to use my sis as a media...she at home mah, so use her lor.the interview was smooth lah, but i'm quite scared of the assistant banquet manager, he is again that kind of sarcastic person, quick witted, sharp tongue...watever.was employed, must wait for their call though.went to lao ba sha to eat.then i and jeremy went to the airport to get minhai.we thought we would be late, but when we arrive at 3.30pm, corrine, grace,jamin, alison have not arrive yet.we sat on the burger king's seats and well, wait to see when they come.i saw jamin first, he was carrying the signboards and the rest ran after him towards belt 23.they all missed us except corrine.well, we waited till nearly 5.they came out of the arrival hall, not sort of condition that i was expecting.cos i thought they would be late and such but instead they were still quite DOTIE, LAME.feel veri bad todae leh, cos a lot of ppl treat us... and jamin was like always saying...i veri hungry leh...so ppl jus treat us lor...not that i say it's not good lah, but he veri straight forward lor.anyway minhai's dad treat us to burger king then we went to westmall to meet mr goh and shi moo.(yah....i noe...sounds like cow...stop drooling, joanna...>=) ) so we got to some touch community dunno wad and watch some christmas preparation.their dancing and singing i dun like.then later we went to a place nearby to makan...jamin wimpering again...mr goh and shi moo treat.then we went home,jamin send grace home...(not putting grace in caps, haha....dotie)and i send michelle home...no lah...jus see her go up the stairs...heh.then went to grace block, wait for jamin to come down, then he see mi home,then he went to the playground to meet some erm,...mysterious person...uh huh....i didn't ask who... a girl perhaps? woot...

todae i learnt a lesson...dun ever make corrine or yam laugh man...cos if u do, the scene is gonna get hilarious.grace's is contagious and corrine's is deadly.erm....say until a bit serious lah...but it's true wad...(dun blame me r u 2...)

today was a seemingly normal day for me.suppose to meet yam,alison,jeremy,stellicia,corrine,joanna and yisin at the bus stop so as to prepare some banners to welcome back minhai and veronica??? when yam called me the other day,i was thinking wat a good idea it is to go to the airport to welcome them back....but banners???!! i was thinking that wasn't neccessary.....but oh well....since they wanna do...then lets do it as a group.so at 12 pm....was using the last minute kind of com....and so told them that i would be comin around shortly.when i arrived at the bus stop at 12.15pm.surprise...no one there.bearing the thought that they might have gone to eat first,i went to the market...they r not there.went to popular, not there.the food court, nope.went back to the market...not there too...went home....called ginny....thought she was with stelly they all...but opps....she is with hui yi and made a fool out of myself.called stellicia....they r at KFC.told mi to wait at yam's void deck.felt idiotic,running over the place ...only to find them at some other places that i didn't thought of searching.Read the fifth book of the Pendragon series.they arivied and we went up...was silent.....thought that i'm angry or something...cos stelly says sorry for taking so long...was like huh? ok....so we went up....hoobey..no caryons...only water based markers.after that decoration, went to yisin's family's ice cream palour at dunno where....still dunno what is the name of the shop.so we went there....still feeling bad abt eating for free...well...u might have guess it...played truth or dare. it's dare all the way.thought i could do the dare...but no man...i chicken out...totally disapointed in myself...could never act in front of the security guard..couln't even bring myself to look at him.did i told u guys before that i was a stutter...well that's what i did....stutter in front of him and avoiding eye contact at all cost.felt damn silly afterwards...it's like shouting something horrible at the guard and immediately turning away.i'll never forget this incident.
went to jeremy's hse...had a bit of mapling.now i noe that jeremy is other wise known as the maple boy by his father..haha.hilarious....doesn't it sounds cute?went home at 11pm.reached home at 11.35pm.will meet jeremy and da ge tomolo for job interview at swenson.my 2nd job..hop it's not as bad as the first.

DIdn they say that if u break a mirror u wld hav 13 yrs of bad luck? Well, i duno if i believe in that,but i felt tat it wld be true for me, even as i write my family r quarreling outside my slammed DOOR.Feeling tired,frustrated now, and speaking of that,i muz say that my emotions really changes alot. Today, if u guys rmb was christmas celebration for fellowship. Rmb the Cafe Latte cup i bought in malacca, was supposed to be for the gift exchange. However i like the cup so much tat i decided to keep it. So last night i was deciding wat present i cld give. My mum brought out a box of puzzle showing horses galloping on seawaves. Yes, the one that you gave me for my birthday last yr, edmund. well, so she wanted me to give that, hilarious. Laughed at her, told her that i cant exchange something in front of the person that bought it. My sister, quanmei was also exchanging presents the next day. It was a photo frame and a Japanese CD featuring instrumental Christmas songs from Daiso at IMM. So i managed to trick her into taking the puzzle for exchanging so I cld take hers. (Seriously, thought that the puzzle was ugly.)

That was yesterday. Today morning, my sister changed her mind, took back the present when i wasn't looking. I demanded it back, quarrelled. I won and left for church as I was in a flustered hurry. (Woke up at 9.00am to practise the songs for that day. Edmund lingshi, can't take it lightly, anyway he sounds stressed yesterday.)

Things began to perk up during the games and the gifts exchange. Well. after that things began to feel sombre for me. I don't know if it is the same with everybody or it is just for me, but whenever i get very active, two things happen. If you are in a very lame and crapping mode, either ppl around you get the 'disease' and begin to crap too and you get higher and higher. Or ppl around you stone, says things like 'lame lah' and dampen you down. The second option happened. It always happens to me all the time. And i got the usual MOOdy thing. so anyway i got moody, not surprising rite. yeah rite, mean lah you all. The mood last real long till 3.30pm, after i came dowm from the mu shi lou from hua ying choir practice.

I was tlking to corrine stellicia the two GRACE (which i shall from now on refer to yam and heah), veronica and yisin. corrine heah veronica and yisin were crapping and playing 2-0-5 [WATEVER.]. I stellicia and yam looked bored. I moved over to where alison and samuel were talking. I just sat in, you know wat i mean, listening. Talking a lot NS experience lah, funny conversation. They were both talking, laughing. Then they suddenly shoot some qns at me. I answered then they continued.

THen yam went on stage for 18/12/04 christmas celebration rehearsal. COrrine and the rest clapped and wooted. Eh... so the cheering up starts here. then they dragged Samuel into playing big fish small fish, he kena abt 5 times, ginny 10, stelly 6-7, alison around 6. I got none, pro rite? Yeah?

So anyway, after ginny kena 10times, everyone ended the game promptly. rushing to somewhere? dunno, so everyone went home, and i was by my lonesome self again. yam went home with her bag, violin case and prezzies (presents, cuter way of saying it). I didnt bother to help her. dun feel like it, in the dumps again.

Carried Jamin's bag and went to the music room, surprised to see the praise choir still in there. shortly after, most left for home except for me zehao edmund isaaclim and wong (tt's wat i wld refer to in the future too), and leawei. WE listen to zehao's rendition of 'longing', sounds familiar, shld be expecting scores from him this saturday 18/12/04.

My mood went down another level, edmund was ignoring me too, toking to the others. So i just listened to the music and all the while badgered by leawei. Well the music also adds to the mood doesnt it always does when you listen to slow romantic movie type of music?

Ok so i shant say anymore of the music room session, went home and guess wat? surprise, bed in a mess, rmb the morning incident? yeah, quarrelled with sister, so anyway she bu shuang and she tear down my make shift shelf above my bed. Only 5 ppl wld understand abt how complicated the shelf is, took me ages to think of and build it. Ok so you 5 guys rmb the circular mirror tt my sister gave me? Yep, the one with the picutre of some chinese garden behind. I took it and attacked the floor outside my sister's room. (My sister not back from sunday school yet)

Whoa, big reaction. My mum woke up, my sister, wanqin, came running. I shouted some very rude words and yeah that's rite, slammed the door.

My father came home, quanmei came home. THe two of them quarrelled.

Sad day huh? Cld conclude that. Tomorrow I'm learning violin from yam. That better be a gd lesson, I'm demanding a GREAT deal from myself.

Feeling sick and tired of being despised, beginning to hate the clowning traits i have, hating the way i acted. hated the way i regret after some words i said, and so most hating how i exactly i am.

Gorging on food now. Guess wat, the packet of fish murruku is finished. Isn't that great? guess since my night is already ruined, i might as well slp early.

GOing to miss the star awards tonight. Whole family is watching it now except me, sad rite? Wat's more, they have already cheered up, forget the incident, happily watching tv. Me? In my room, feeling sorry for myself, P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.

well, if you guys are reading this, that means i had managed to post this on my blog. My computer is spoilt in case nobody cared to remember.

Wise words of the day: If you give time to God, He will give you double. (Quoted from Samuel)

woke up at 10am.Hurried to the piano,supposed to meet wu at the music room for our music lesson at 11.30am and i have not practiced yet.

grace yam called,1pm at west mall.First to reach.Yay!!! Grace and Stellicia came.Was surprised at how cool stellicia was.(the salesman incident)

Met Joanna n Jermery at the cinema entrance.Met corrine at "tou fu". Edmund n Veron came later.Few things surprised me tat day.I nv knew Jermery n Joanna was so fun to be with.Well, obviously since this is the first time i hang out with them.

We shopped for pressies for the gift exchange the nxt day.I bought 3 stuff toys.3 for $9.90 i borrowed $6 frm Joanna(relax,i wun forget one). $3.80 frm stellicia that night for dinner.

Y i bought the stuff toys? Cos...i wan a white polar bear whose expression looks like Daniel.(see blog entry 9:conclusion) but since it's sold in 3s, so i brought another 2 puffin birds which i gave my sister later.

We walked around n chanced to see this alvin n grace puzzle shaped keychain. they begin to tease both of us n i was like "wah lao",i treat them so nicely n this is how they treat me!! =( pretty lame la they all. So i was destinated to like Grace becos of some keychain?

2.45pm we left for church choir rehersal. The rehersal was a mess, felt tired. Edmund looked a bit subdued,tired,sian or sthg,i duno.

Had dinner with stellicia,GRACE,corrine,joanna n jermery.We crapped a lot during dinner until Joanna,corrine n GRACE became HIGH..leaving me,stellicia n jermery wondering wat went wrong with the food.

Anyway,nothing to do after dinner,so went over to GRACE hse. Stellicia was SO SMART.She locked the front door for security reasons.N hoobey, it really WAS secured,we cant even get out of GRACE hse.In the end, we had to climb out of the hse,sneaky huh?

Then,they visited my hse.Joanna,Jermery n GRACE watched the singapore idol encore while stellicia n corrine pore over my unfinished puzzle. Managed to put a few pieces in la.Then at 8.15pm,they left my hse. Force me to accomanpy GRACE home,the rumours started again.>=( Another diaoz feeling.U guys tell me lah,GRACE is lunch rite? I like to eat alot cannot meh,i always eat alot of burgers after choir practise de mah.Anyway, when we reached GRACE hse, the door was fixed.

Didn't i say that i wld wan this camp to be also as fruitful as last yr? Well, it didn't.Not as fruitful. But of cos i made a few progress,in terms of frenship i mean.

Dun think i made progress with the gang, but the progress with new frens.

Elon: Well, i'm surprised he talked to me on the bus,was quite shocked lah.Find him quite easy to communicate with. He cracks lame jokes n really knows how to bring out his point.Use a lot of chim chim words,hav to ask for the meaning.I think he looks better when he smiles.But duno who say he looks funny when he smiles.

Daniel: Some of u guys out there on the Komputer seats noes wat effect shuai geS has on me heh? Well,Daniel is my latest target lah.Dun think crooked, just wanna make frens,then i cld keep him around to pei wo.NO LAH!!! Anyway,chanced to talk to him during the camp,quite cute lah. Will continue to pursue him one. LOL, wat r u guys thinking?!!!?

Aiyo, woke up at 8am, missed lingxiu. Went for breakfast, MOOdy still,nobody tok to me. Packed luggage.

Shopping trip, waste my time hanging out with the guys.They r juz crapping abt sthg,then moving on to the nxt shop. I wanna buy sthg for give xchange tat sunday.So i shopped alone.Met Stellicia n gang. Say she like some bear. Tot she meant the yellow one instead of the brown one,so i bought her tat lor.(shan't say how i felt at tat time,abit komplicated)

Stopped at some tourist attraction on the way to some restuarant for lunch.Climb up some steep steps to reach some dilapilated church. We stopped at a booth manned by some shuai guy making some personalised keychain n handphone accessories with wires.

Yu huan n Joanna made so many names tat i had no time to make any for my frens. So anyway, we were late.Several elders were not happie.

Lunch, quite MOOdy, sat with Xiucheng n Elon again. Slpt on the bus. Mindy forgot her passport,got delayed a little. Shuping laoshi accompanied her back to the hotel. Dun really like Mindy,dun mind me saying this,but i tot she was a little bit bitchy.

Went home, an hr of tv, slp for 13hrs until 10am the nxt day.

Had our gospel on the seventh floor. The gospel was hard, the leaders had a brief "wat to do" meeting when it was time to break into our grps n discuss. I had shuping laoshi to guide me, so it wasn't so bad. I wasn't worried abt the discussion at all. Until Edmund approach me to ask whether i understood wat the gospel was abt. First impression was like huh? then wah. Cos in my impression Edmund was always very spiritual one and quite mature n experienced one. So was surprised tat he was asking me wat to do. then Yingshan n Alison also came n say tat they feel lost too. So i was like more WAH!! then ok...my grp was difficult to handle, with 2 monkeys n the rest like corspes u cant expect an answer frm them at all.

Lunch, i came down to hav lunch with Sharon, Jamin, Edmund, Grace, then we go up to visit Alison cos she's not feeling well. We rang the door bell, knocked on the door, n got ready to give her a surprise. Nobody open the door.

Sharon went to her room cos she sick n needed rest. The rest of us went down, meet Yingshan, shuping laoshi and the alison whom we r looking for. Tok abt the OH SO DIFFICULT gospel.

Games. Fun. Like the lame series of questions.

Gospel tat night was a series of A n Q with a discussion n explaination session later. I enjoyed tat. THen after the closing ceremony, there was a special prog. Enjoyed tat too. Played a huge round of big fish small fish afterwards. My sis kena 4 times. Qiuxiang laoshi kena 5 times..YAY! =)

The leaders went for their meeting. After the meeting, instead of resuming the game, almost 20+ of us went out for supper. It was like 2am in the morning. they were laming n stuff. There was this yam seng thingy...ppl looking at us,i was going diaoz. So i ignored them. After the whole supper, felt tired n lost. Always did when i was in a huge grp. So i walked ahead of them towards the hotel.

Was touched when Jamin ran after me, concerned. I ignored him however. Duno wat to tell him at that time leh, so i kept silent. Went back to the hotel, stayed in rm 1204, as i duno hav the key to Edmund's rm. Heard Edmund coming back, so i went imto his rm n bathe.

Dun feel like slping, so went down to the lobby. To my surprise Daniel, Charmaine, Joey, Han Xuan n huang hui was there, well loitering around, sort of. I talked to them,Joey was reading some comics. Daniel was in his usual quietness,standing around, smiling shyly that sort of thing. Charmaine look slpy n when i pointed that out, she protest n force herself to look refresh. Tat was 3.15am in the morning i guess.

After a while, i told them i was going to bed first, too tired n such. the rest all followed me. Guess they were tired after all.

Went into Edmund's rm n saw corrine there. WOOTZ!! ;) still moody lah, so ignored them, went to bed.

Entered the registration classroom, feel lost, so many ppl i noe, very crowded, confusing. Filled the last of the immigration form, then set off for malacca.We reached this place called yongpeng's something garden, dunno lar. So we walked around lor, me, xiucheng and Elon.Edmund's bus came later and Jamin brought this SUPER sweet canned iced tea, really sweet.

Elon sat next to me on the bus, was commenting abt almost everything, A positive sign, it seems to me. Reached the hotel, was moddy, so sat with Elon for lunch.
Edmund,corrine,sharon,xiucheng,jamin,yusi and the rest(shall refer them as my gang in the future)were crapping and such,dun feel like sitting next to them.Chenvglin sat at the same table as us, so did kai rong.To prove each other wrong, we sat at our seats and let the 'old hags' get their food first. (Elon pointed out to me on the bus that the husbands didn't come on the trip and only those old women come since our bus consists of mostly old women) Chenglin was saying things to me and Elon like; dun resist already lah, i noe u two very hungry already. U noe, like acting cool and heroic and such. So we crapped back lah. Later we realised that there wld be no fewer ppl at thhe buffet table as ppl kept coming for second helpings. So we went and take the food lor. Chenglin was saying, haha, u lose cos u are infront of me, u cant wait to get the food, you're hungry, such lameness lah. But it's a good time, at least he doesn't look so stress now.

After lunch, there was a mixed up abt the rooms so the commitee had to arrange the rooms again. Went up to our rooms, hav a good time visiting each other's room, bouncing on each other's bed. jamin sitting n crapping.

3.15pm, went down for ice breaking. Jamin was laming the whole time abt where is the ice? Forgot wat games we played during the ice breaking, so nothing to write here.

Dinner, went down with 15mins to spare with Edmund, Xiucheng n Jamin. Chomp our food and went up. The process was fast to my surprise. No one was eating at the restuarant already.

The gospel, then Shuping laoshi held the discussion. That night after the grp leader's meeting,our family went to grace heah's room to watch tv on tv1, malay channel. So fun, cant understand a word of cantonese the drama says, was feeling irritated at tat time. Didn't talk much, others asking questions like "are u ok" n such. Feeling self pity too. Dunno why.

Sleep over at Edmund's room at night, Jamin came over. We managed to "sour" Jamin serveral times n make him get up, then tickle him, he hates tat, pain or sthg. HILARIOUS!!

Ok i'm back so i'm tidying my whole weeks of events. Won't talk abt the few days before the camp.Personal and i've quite forgotten it.

after last night ordeal,felt rather werid.slept quite late at 1am last night,so woke up at a disastrous time of 10.30.heard my mum waking me up outside the door at 9.45(i slept with my room door closed)but my alarm clock says 9.15.thought about going straight to church, but too lazy to do so.slept some more and use some computer.

2.30pm.went to church,quite sarcastical in the sense to tongue anyone who asked mi why i didn't came for fellowship.I went for choir practice and had quite a peaceful 1 hour as i just played for them and they didn't asked me anything.

3.30pm.I made my way to the main hall and found the wen zhi bu committee having a meeting.I joined in and was incharge of the logo for our fellowship's newsletter.went to the santuary hall for rehearsal for the later 4pm worship.

4.20pm.joined minhai,jamin,grace and june at the music room.we then practice a last minute song for the coming week praise.Grace left earlier and we went over to jamin house for the chinese version of the song.Minhai quicky grew in accustomed to Jamin's house. positioning himself comfortably on Jamin's bed and hugging one of his many pillows.half lying and making a sort of grunting that never failed to make me think that he is asleep.

the song was printed out and we all tried to blend in to the many possible tunes but somehow we always seems to clash with either each other or the piano.minhai and jamin rewrite the score so as to blend everyone's voice together nicely.they said a great deal stuff that i didn't understand.after the score was written,the rest was easy.we just sang our written part and everything sounded nice.We joked around and left jamin's house at around 7.30.Jamin accompany us to the busstop where we got more lame.Jamin insist that he see me home and he did, making small talks with him and we goes.sort of find in hard to do that with Jamin everytime.He is really a emotionally versatile guy.Sometimes gloomy and sometimes happie, dotty.Must really hand it to him.Even more versatile than me in moods.

today was really a strange day for me.woke up feeling dread.end of the day feeling loved and jumbly.Which leads me to the wish i had for this year's camp:every year's camp i managed to reach a new level of friendship with my friends and along the way finding a few more potential ones.Lets hope that i could acheive that this year.=)really looking forward to this year's camp.

came back home,felt so depressed, angry with myself.A sum of twenty three dollars, now left a few dollars,purely an effect of my boredom and tireness.

woke up in the morning, felt as same as always, a brand new morning,brand new freedom,no duties to perform, no nothing.Friends inivited me to lunch outside. Acommunion with friends was nice.However, the ultimate distraction had once again captured my attention and i couldn't be bothered to go for luch.2.30pm.downloading a humongous file that a canada friend sent me.so i logged off and met up with my friends and after which for choir at church.

had a hell of a time.so much laughter.dinner time, didn't felt like eating too much as the $23 had to last me through the month, the festive season and not forgeting a friend's birthday.I was a bit gloomy back then, not serious as in sad but quite thoughtful.My friends were concern about my eating content,but didn't gave it much thought.So i found myself gazing at them as they consume their last meal of the day.

after dinner,walked a friend who lives near me home.talked about getting some fishes for my dream aquarium.went towards the fish shop, found that the rest of my friends were still waiting for the bus.talked to them,still cheerful.they got on the same bus and the cheeriness began to ebb away.went to 2 fish shops but both were closed.pass by the lan shop that i had owe $17 to.Not feeling like going home and it felt right to pay back the money that i owed now that i had the money.So i did and went on to play at the rate of $1.80 per hour as i dread going home.

i ended up playing up to closing time and managed to pay up without owing any money to the shop.

walked home,furious with myself.Felt so useless,willess and depressed.went home,used the computer despite my parents' grubling.Faced with friends who tried to cheer me up and grubling parents,i retort back at them and managed to get my father's temper to boil.he flared up and i immediately played my full deck.He wanted to switch off the computer and i did it myself so as not to let him have the pleasure of doing so.We flared at each other, ending up with me winning as i managed to prove a great deal of concept regarding the reason why i kept using the computer late into the night.

sitting in my room,purposely switching off any light sources and feeling tired,lost in this world and neglected,i cried as i thought about everything that has happened in my life so far.After which i got up and wrote this dairy,my first true heart felt entry.Cried myself to sleep that night, a thing that i had not done for a very long time.

Feeling alone,felling lost.

expectations,anger and problems too.

I want to shout,yell.

but a voice into me cries,

look into the mirror and you will see,

who it is that is really me.

The sound startled thousands of Arfigoths in the Zrragrab forest. A simple tinkle of silverwood leaves and the sound of phraxwood flute, the soft melodious enchantment haunts and chill the hearts of all Arfigoths who chanced to have ever heard this spell.

A panic swept through the land. Children huddled close to their mothers, wings tucked nervously around them. Males adults immediately spread their wings and took flight towards the nearest mikwood tree for a closer look at the intruders. The battlements have blown the war horn, signaling the legions' gathering.

Enzer:The word for morning or in another sense, A.M.

Prezer:The word for afternoon or in another sense, P.M.

Noctirce:one of the two towns of the continent Tamoiar. The hub of Tamoiar's education. home to the famous academy of Klavistra.

raising:The movement of the solaris timepieces by performing the grand ritual every Enzer. Beautiful to observe. Part of the text found in the studying materials of mages studying in the school of thermal elements under the topic 'leviation through thermal flux and magic mana flow-case study:solaris timepieces of the academy of klavistra.'

Scaly wings folded, they peeked out into the azure sky voided of clouds. The creatures, of silver eyes, spit of fire and razor sharp talons perched amidst the solaris timepieces that resides on the central platform of the school of invokecation. The solarium has always roosted the hundreds of Onyxes for centuries. The Onyx, also mythically known as the the lifeclaimer is commonly found in huge numbers on the continent of Tamoiar and especially preferred to nest close to magic sources, as such in the case of the solarium of Noctirce town. The Onyxes soaked up the magic which regenerates their mana for their daily hunts. In return, the presence of a considerable amount of mana would conversely aid the flux and movement of magic.

10 Enzer. The exact time of dawn, the moment that the raising have to be performed. THe raising is the combining of the Enzer's sun rays and magic to form a mystic hub where the whole academy could draw unlimited mana from the sun.

The raising could only br done by the moving of the heavy solaris timepieces in the oppsite direction of the magical flux and invoking a continuous movement in it. The solaris timepieces comprise of highly refined crystalites, gems and stellimium, a very durable and veratile in magic metal. There are five solaris timepieces, for each represents one of the five schools in the academy. Each of the timepieces has its own activation powers and when combined together could unleash a massive destruction force. This force was so much feared to an extent that the Panionsix council only allowed invokers, who are mages that possess high mental and magical powers to perform the raising.

As the sun sets each day, the rotation of the timepieces gradually stops, drained of its unlimited source of energy from the sun and magic by the roosting Onyxes. It is by this reason that the raising have to be performed everyday at dawn to replenish its magical flux.

Invokecation, is an art of magic where the mind is trained to greater strength. When the art of invokecation is first introduced, it is intended for the training of invokers to perform the raising. However, as the years pass by, the mental strenth of the mind is focused on instead.