Easier said than done

oh? It's not being paranoid to suspect someone willing to go into a relationship with you is fooling with your heart because they probably will.

That's what I've learnt from my friends. They seek relationships so fervently, they don't want to remain single. I've seen my friends go through plenty of girlfriends. They want to "try" a relationship... that girl is hot, lets go and introduce ourselves..... very visual.

I was scorned when i told them that i want my first relationship to be the last, that when i decided to want a girl to be my girlfriend, she's the one I'll marry.

"how would you know if she's the one if you are not going to try now?" came the replies. And if all else fails, they said.... if the relationship does not worked out, 'just' break up. What do they treat women as?

害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无, i've always find this funny.... so you do not harm people, you are of moral... and uh.. but still you go around in a paranoid, suspecting state... it just doesn't fit...
if everyone were to follow this... everyone will still be wary despite that it's against their 'moral' to harm people. Anyway it's crap... we'll always have the intention to harm people ;/

I however believes in second chances, and as many more chances that my human capacity would allow me to tolerate because God have given me many many many >.<

My interview


"so why are you here?" he asked

and i was stunned. then he continue to ask me what do i hope to achieve in my future...

typical questions for any interview.... but i never saw it coming.... it was just a course... i thought....with my grades, i have the money... but that's not what he's looking for.... i've totally miss the point of studying.

It is true that these 2 questions only serve to warn me about how tough the culinary industry...whether i am ready to go through with this or not... getting scolded for no apparent reason.... takes years to rise through the chef ranks, de pattie, sous chef blah blah..... freaking hot in the kitchen..... and why do i want a course like this?

not that i really have no choice in choices, but perhaps in terms of preferences? Did i really think it was so easy to become a chef? :S

The moon?

God separated the light from the darkness. He also made two great lights - the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night.

I was cycling in the dark yesterday and i was wondering... where is the moon? we could see the sun in the day... but at night there might not be a moon. why is that so?

It's always so dismal when dusk falls.... when the sun sets. I realized that the only times (apart from man-made artificial lights) i truly felt appreciative of the dark is when there's a moon.

Like a soft glow, a consolation... a reminder of the dawn that is to come.

Labels: the moon

Hard work

I forgot how it feels to work hard... or maybe perhaps i never did.

What if God has spells? (just a thought)

Beacon of Light: The target becomes a Beacon of Light to all targets within a 40 yard radius. Any Grace you cast on the Beacon will give him/her the ability to heal any targets in the 40 yard radius. Any target can be the Beacon of Light. Does not work if the target is blinded, disorientated or confused.

Fear of the Future..?

You are the one that always crush my pride...my confidence.

I'm a proud creature...and you know it, for i am your creation.

You are the one that make me doubt my own decisions, made me wonder where i should go, what i should do next.

Like a guided game of chess, you prompt me to make the right moves and you will always be there whenever i need your guidance.

you never fail to bring me back to you... always the worst of times, always the unexpected person, always words that affects me greatly.

I could be confident that i would be doing a single thing one moment and you could completely remove all my options and make me despair. And i would not know how to deal with it and with humility i finally turned to you... and you would give me your answer... always better than mine, always more, always promising.

Though i may not be sensitive to your grace at times but looking back, you always filled me with wonder. you worked through people, your wonders made me fear you, made me fear the future, of what you can do.....

...and it makes me wonder what i can do to be worthy of being your creation.